Filling the void
by alexmonalisa
Summary: When we lose the ones we love, we lose apart of ourselfs. An emptiness remains that's hard to fill. After X3. Marie is cured and working as a teacher in the mansion but then a heart-broken Logan returns causing dangerous consequences for both. Please R&R!
1. Regrets

'Oh sorry.'

Marie opened one eye and saw someone small dart out. Kitty. She smiled to herself and felt a sense of exhilaration engulf her as an arm curled around her body. She put her arm over his, locking their fingers together. He kissed the back of her neck and she felt her spine tingle. She loved this feeling. Being normal. Not living in fear that her powers would kill the one she loved, only enjoyment of every moment, every touch. She turned around careful so that their hands were still linked. He smiled and kissed her forehead.

'Hey.' He breathed.

'Hey.' She whispered back.

'We better get up. We have classes to teach.'

'Ok Bobby.'

She glided out the bed and into his bathroom. She washed and dressed quickly and then flitted out. She flung herself into his arms for one more passionate kiss and then headed to the kitchens. As she entered she felt her cheeks burn slightly as Kitty and Jubilee stopped whispering. Probably discussing her.

'Morning girls. What's for breakfast?'

Kitty nodded towards the selection of cereal on the table and then scurried out. Marie raised an eyebrow at Jubilee.

'Don't worry she just didn't realise you and Bobby were sleeping together.'

Marie grimaced at Jubilee's blatant honesty then shrugged. She grabbed a bowl and poured herself some cereal. Jubilee handed her a spoon.

'Thanks.'

She started eating, chewing fast as to avoid further interrogation into the topic. Jubilee seemed to get the point.

'How long has it been again?'

'Two months.'

'And you don't miss your powers?'

Marie shook her head slowly. She scraped the last morsels in her bowl before getting up to put it in the sink. She frowned at all the dirty dishes. She turned to look at Jubilee.

'Is there a reason your in the kitchen?'

Jubilee smiled a sly smile.

'Kitchen duty for a month.'

Marie sighed.

'Where did you go this time?' she asked.

'Here and there. Six bars and one or two clubs.'

Marie shook her head walking out the kitchen.

'You'll never catch me doing anything outrageous.'

-xxx-

'Ok everyone. That's all for today. Read chapters 4 to 7 for homework.'

Marie smiled at her class as they filed out. She put her bookmark in her own book and slipped it back into herself. She turned her back to the empty class and wiped it clean.

'Never thought of you as the teacher type.' Came a gruff voice.

Marie swirled around her heart pummelling against her chest. He was leaning against the closed door, grin spread across his face.

'Logan.'

She took him by surprise by running up to him and hugging him. She looked up and was amused by the slightly alarmed expression on his face. He then frowned and finally smiled. She stepped away beaming at him.

'So what's all this teacher stuff about?'

'Just earning my keep. Now that I'm…normal I don't really belong here, so teaching and helping out is my way of thanking Storm for letting me stay.'

'Who said you don't belong?'

Marie tilted her head to one side. His eyes seemed dazed and unfocused. She walked out the class, signalling him to follow. He obliged and she noticed as she walked next to him there was a strong smell of scotch.

'It was nothing personal. Some students felt I should leave. But everyone's over that now.'

Logan nodded. They were both silent as they headed past the Professor's office. They headed outside and towards the bench at the far end of the school.

'So your back?'

Logan shrugged. He sat down, leaning back and staring at the sky. Marie sat cross-legged on the grass, looking up at him. After a moment he shivered and rubbed his knuckles. He was thinking of Jean.

'Logan?'

'Yeah?'

'Are you ok?'

'Just fine, kid.'

She nodded and stood up.

'I have some work to do see you later?'

'Yeah ok.'

She flashed him one last smile. He was looking at her with a peculiar expression on his face.

'What?'

'Your skin…'

'What about it?'

'I never realised it was so soft.'

'Uh? Thanks I guess.'

She wandered away, absolutely mystified by his comment.

-xxx-

'So Logan's back?'

'Yeah I know but something seems different.'

Storm looked up from the forms she was signing.

'He's been through a lot, Marie. Some things take time to heal.'

Marie nodded. She was in Storm's office discussing general matters. She'd actually been hoping the topic of Logan wouldn't come up.

'How's English class?' enquired Storm.

'Good. They're working hard.'

'Good, good.'

Storm stood up and smiled. She handed Marie a sheet of paper. It was a class list with two new students added. Marie nodded and headed out the door. Storm followed.

'They'll be arriving tomorrow. They're twins from Texas. Warren found them wondering the streets.'

'Ok then.'

'I'd better check up on dinner. Are you coming?'

'No I have plans.'

Storm headed towards the kitchen. Marie hurried to her room and carefully laid the list on her desk. Then she quickly loosened her hair and sprayed herself with perfume. She ran out towards Bobby's room. She was about to open the door when she heard crying. She carefully pressed her ear against the door.

'Don't cry, Kitty. I hate to see you like this.' Came Bobby's voice.

Kitty gave a huge sniff before answering.

'I'm sorry. But ever since _she_ got the cure, I hardly see you. I feel so alone.'

'What about Jubilee?'

'She doesn't understand me like you do. I'm happy for you Bobby but that doesn't make the pain go away.'

Marie felt her hands clench into fists. She had the sudden urge to hurt Kitty but then she remembered that she was powerless. Only a mere human. As she was about to turn away she heard them speak again.

'Bobby, if she never got the cure, would something ever have happened between us?'

Marie smiled. She knew the answer. Bobby loved her, not her powers and whether she was normal or mutant didn't matter.

'Maybe.' Whispered Bobby.

Rogue felt her heart shatter. Tears started to develop in the corners of her eyes. She ran down the corridor to find the one person who she could still trust.

-xxx-

Marie knocked carefully on the door. There was no answer. Carefully she pushed the door open. He was sitting on a chair facing the wall. He was staring blankly at the wall, shirt off, and a bottle of scotch dangling from his hand. She closed the door carefully and sat on his bed. She was shaking from trying to hold the tears back. He turned his head slowly to look at her. As soon as their eyes met, she felt herself break down. He was next to her in a second, arms around her. His body was warm, almost hot. She realised that must have gotten used to Bobby's cool body. Through her teary eyes she could see his room was scattered with empty bottles. Unexpectedly he kissed her. It was hard and passionate. She sat stunned. She pushed him away with every fibre in her body. She backed away from the bed, flinging herself against the wall. She could still feel the kiss lingering on her mouth. Her breath could now taste the alcohol. He sat on the bed staring wild eyed at her. Slowly her body seemed to get up and move towards him of its own accord. He wrapped his arm around her, his hand gently slipping under her shirt. She curled her arm around his neck, pulling his face towards her. This time she didn't think or react but merely went along with the long, burning desire with in her as their bodies entwined.

-xxx-

_Ooh! Umm…not sure what to say. Really took a while to try and think how they would do it. But do not worry chapter clears up the why they did it. This chapter is more like the when. So please review and stay tuned for the next chapter._


	2. Balance

Let it be a dream, please let it be a dream, she thought.

Marie slowly opened one eye. She came across the empty bottles and her clothes scattered over the floor. She snapped her eye closed, cursing under her breath. It had all happened so fast. Part of her was repulsed at herself but another part was bursting with joy. At first she'd felt so frightened when Logan kissed but her feelings for him had taken control. She moved her hand behind her, searching for his body. He was at the end of the bed. She opened her eyes and turned around. He was asleep, snoring deeply. A few times he would incoherently mumble something. She moved out of the bed careful not to wake him. She was shaking slightly and knew that soon the guilt would overflow.

'Jean.'

Marie whipped around. Logan had stopped snoring and was now lying on his back, twitching. His face was shadowed with pain. She threw her clothes on and hurried out of his room. Students stared at her with wide eyes as she darted to her room. Once there she flung the door open before locking herself in her bathroom.

'Marie?' came a voice.

She turned the shower on and stripped off. She climbed in, ignoring him. She couldn't face Bobby now.

'Marie?'

He was at the door.

'Give me a minute.' She choked.

The guilt had set in. She scrubbed herself harder, feeling like trash. She cried silently her heart tearing into two separate pieces. Finally she climbed out. She carefully wrapped a towel around her body and checked her face in the mirror. She looked like a drowned rat but her face was no longer red. She walked out slowly, head down. Bobby was sitting on her bed with her clothes laid out for her. He had closed her door and was staring out of the window. She smiled and started to dress.

'Where were you?' he whispered.

'I wasn't feel well.'

'Oh.' He said unconvinced.

She sighed and took his hand. It was cold. She winced as he kissed her cheek. She didn't deserve him.

'I have a class to teach.' She whispered.

She gathered up her notes and walked towards the door.

'See you tonight.' He called.

She sped up wishing it were only that easy.

-xxx-

'_I'm sorry, I had to.' _

'_This isn't what I wanted.'  
'I know. It's what I want.'_

'Bobby…'

'Is it true? Can they cure us?'  
'Yes, Rogue. It appears to be true.'  
'No, Professor. They can't cure us. You want to know why? Because there's nothin' to cure. Nothing's wrong with you. Or any of us, for that matter.'  
'I'm sorry…'

'_I'm not your father. I'm your friend.'_

'Logan…' she muttered.

'Marie?'

Her eyes snapped open. Storm was standing next to her, hand on her shoulder.

'Oh.'

Marie jumped up and looked around. She must have fallen asleep at her desk. She shook herself thoroughly.

'Sorry Storm. I didn't get much sleep…'

She looked down hoping the guilt wouldn't spread on her face.

'That's ok. I just wanted to know how the twins have settled.'

'Oh great, they've already read the book, which is good and they've made some friends so I think they'll fit in just fine.'

'Good, well I have another class, you should probably go get some sleep.'

Marie nodded and followed Storm out. Storm headed left while Marie climbed the stairs. She walked without looking where she was going. Suddenly she heard a disturbing sound. It was a shout though muffled some how. But the disturbing thing is how it was filled with pain. She knew where it was coming from. She darted to Logan's room and flung open the door. He was still lying in bed but knotted in his blankets tossing and turning. She heard footsteps approaching and slammed the door shut again. She didn't dare move just waiting for whoever was lingering at the door to go away. But her eyes were locked on Logan's. He was staring back at her, pain etched on her face but also a sense of longing. She heard the person move away from the door. Slowly she locked the door and wondered over to him. She kicked off her shoes and climbed in the bed. He was naked and she enjoyed his warm skin on hers. He buried his face in her hair and slowly moved his hand up her shirt. She let out a soft moan of pleasure and slowly turned around to face him. She put her leg over him and a hand on his face.

'It's ok.' She whispered.

She leaned in slowly feeling all emotion disappear as their bodies became one.

-xxx-

'Are you sure your ok?'

Marie shrugged her shoulders. She was sitting, actually trying to sit at the breakfast table but her body had finally given up. She'd eventually toppled backwards and was lucky Jubilee had caught her.

'Marie you look awful.'

'Really? Thanks, just what I want to hear.' Muttered Marie darkly.

'Look I know what your going through, I mean this place has no entertainment. But if your going to party you need balance.'

Balance. Marie snorted. Balance sounded like an unlikely thing. There were only three factors but two of those factors caused too much friction to become _balanced_. For Marie it was classes, Bobby and Logan. Classes were a breeze; she only did one or two each morning. But Bobby and Logan took up every other minute. If she wasn't busy having sex with Logan she was trying to convince Bobby that things were the still normal. She had convinced him that she wanted to sleep in her own room so that she had longer time with Logan but Logan had his own schedule. She was so close to breaking point but the look on Logan's face tortured her so much that she had to take away the pain.

'MARIE!'

Marie blinked and frowned at Jubilee.

'Yeah?'

Jubilee sighed and jerked her head towards the door. Storm stood there, arms crossed, looking murderous. Marie's heart began to beat furiously against her chest. Storm couldn't know. Marie felt as if she couldn't breathe.

'Logan's leaving.' Said Storm.

Marie let out a sigh. Then she stared at Storm. Why was she so mad? Storm seemed to know what she was thinking.

'I didn't expect him to come back and lay about. I think some time away will do him good. He seems to think so too. He'll be gone in an hour.'

'He…wants…to…go?' whispered Marie.

Storm nodded. A look of concern crossed Jubilee's face. But she said nothing just swooped to Marie's side and guided her to her room.

'Someone got up a little too early.' Laughed Jubilee.

She dragged Marie out back towards her room.

'Do you want to go see him?' whispered Jubilee.

Marie slowly shook her head. They arrived at her room and Jubilee placed her gently in her bed. Marie smiled a weak, but grateful smile before closing her eyes. She took slow breaths while Jubilee stroked her hand. Time seemed to pass slowly. Marie could feel her heart disappearing. After awhile she felt a different kind of hand. Warm, hard. It didn't stroke her hand just held on a little too tight.

'Logan?' she whispered.

'Just saying goodbye.' He muttered.

She didn't move. She felt him lean over her. Then his lips were crushing hers. She stayed still hoping it would stop but soon she parted her own mouth, pushing her tongue into his mouth. She could still taste the beer on his lips. He could only touch her when he was drunk. But she didn't care she still wanted him. Even though deep down he wished it was Jean he was kissing. Slowly she pushed him away. She turned away covering her ears and burying her face in her pillow. She could still feel his hand on her shoulder. He mumbled something.

'Please, just go.' She pleaded.

It was too hard to say goodbye. To hard now that she was deeply in love with him.

-xxx-


	3. 3 Months Later

Marie sat in the kitchen her face pressed on the cold surface. She was feeling dizzy again. She felt someone start to rub her back.

'Thanks Jubilee.'

'No problem. You not feeling well again?'

'No, I think I'll just skip breakfast. Just to let my stomach settle.'

'Ok. By the way he's back again.'

'Figures.'

'I don't get it. Why does Logan keep coming back?'

'This place is a pit stop for him. Fill-up and go.'

She sighed, wiping the sweat from her forehead. She never had the guts to sort this out. Things were ok when Logan was away. But when he came back it was secrets and lies. And when he left, heartbreak. She had stopped sleeping with him, but Logan still needed comfort and she still needed Bobby.

'Marie!'

'What?'

'Your burning up.'

Marie waved her off and stood up.

'I have to get to class. Don't worry ok.'

Jubilee bit her lip but nodded anyway. Marie smiled and walked towards her room.

-xXx-

'Logan.'

'Hey.'

'So your back?'

'Yeah.'

Marie shrugged and gathered her notes from her desk. Then she noticed it. His clothes were clean and fresh, as was his beard. He didn't reek of alcohol and his eyes were focused and alert.

'Your sober?' she whispered.

'I know I haven't been myself kid and I'm sorry about what's happened. It was my fault.'

'Your…fault.'

'Yeah I'm sorry.'

'Are you leaving again?'

'Don't know, thinking about staying on as a teacher.'

Marie felt her muscles spasm. She closed her eyes trying to stay focused. She was just trash. So easy to throw away. While he needed her she was meant to fix him but now that he was done, she could be so easily discarded.

'Marie?'

She bit back the tears and opened her eyes.

'Good to have you back. Excuse me I have a class to teach.'

-xXx-

'Remember, point, explain and example. That's the key thing to remember when doing this assignment. You can use examples from the book and the film but remember to write where your source comes from. Now we…'

Marie swayed. She clutched her chair. Her head was spinning rapidly. She felt the vomit rising in her throat. She clamped her mouth shut and tried to focus.

'Miss, are you ok?'

'I…I…'

Marie felt cold surround her and everything became dark.

Marie was suddenly aware of the voices. She wanted to open her eyes but stopped when she became aware of who was in the room. She lay still.

'…but overall she's fine.' Concluded Storm.

'That's good.' Whispered Bobby.

'Yeah.' Agreed Logan.

'Well I guess everyone should go then.'

'I can stay Storm.'

'Don't you have a class?'

'No not right now.' Prompted Jubilee.

'Ok then. Logan, Bobby, why don't you visit later.'

Marie waited as both men hesitantly shuffled out. Then she opened her eyes. Jubilee smiled at her. It was a sad, pity smile. Storm came over and squeezed her hand.

'How are you feeling, child?'

'Light-headed. What's wrong with me?'

Storm bit her lip.

'What?'

'Marie, I think you're pregnant.'

Marie gasped. Storm squeezed her hand tighter. Jubilee took out a small box. Marie looked down.

'A pregnancy test?'

'You have to know.' Whispered Jubilee.

Marie nodded. Storm hugged her.

'Think before you do anything drastic. I'll leave you with Jubilee. Should I send Bobby in later?'

'No!'

Storm frowned.

'I don't want anyone else to know yet. Please Storm!'

'Ok Marie.'

She turned and left the room. Marie felt tears fall down her cheek.

'Oh sweetie.' Jubilee put her arms around her and rocked her back and forth.

Marie held on for once glad that she didn't have her powers.

'Is it Bobby's?'

No it wasn't. But she couldn't tell Jubilee that. She knew it wasn't Bobby's because she hadn't been sleeping with him since Logan. It had only been Logan she'd ever been with for the past few months. With Bobby she could always smell Kitty's perfume in the room, which meant she had been there. But that wasn't an excuse. At least he'd been faithful. The tears ran harder.

'Marie?'

'I'm ok.'

'Are you going to take the test?'

'Yeah.'

'Do you want me to come?'

'No.'

'Ok.'

Jubilee hugged her one last time. Marie smiled and entered the bathroom in the med lab. She prised open the box and took out the little stick.

'Please be negative.' She whispered as she peed on it.

She laid it carefully on the window and washed her hands.

'Kid?'

She yelped and ran out the bathroom closing the door. Logan was sitting on the vacant bed.

'Oh Logan, what do you want?'

'Are you ok?'

'Yes, how many times do I have to say that!'

He flinched and looked down. She sighed and sat next to him. Then she noticed the faint smell of beer.

'Your drinking again.'

'Not much. Still sober.'

'Do you still miss her?'

'More than anything. I would do anything to bring her back.'

'Logan, I want to tell them everything.'

'Kid, I don't think we should. What we did was wrong. I'll never forgive myself for what we did but we can't turn back time. I know that better than anyone. Let's just forget it happened. It didn't mean anything.'

Marie nodded but felt as if someone had stabbed her heart. Logan patted her back and walked out. She ran back into the bathroom and picked up the test.

Positive.

She fell to her knees. She was alone now. Logan didn't want her anymore. Bobby wouldn't want her. None of the students ever thought she belonged. She had no one.

-xXx-

Jubilee ran as fast as she could. She collided into a mass of students filing into class. She saw Bobby walking with Kitty. She grabbed his arm and wrenched him away.

'You. Come. With. Me!' she panted.

He shrugged at Kitty and hurried along with her.

'What is it Jubilee?'

'Where…Storm?' she gasped. She wished he'd shut-up.

'Storm, Warren, Dr McCoy and Logan are in her office having a meeting.'

Jubilee nodded and flew to her left Bobby running behind her. She arrived at the office door and flung it open.

'Jubilee, we're having a meeting. Bobby, I'm surprised at you.'

Bobby looked guiltily at the floor but Jubilee was taking deep breaths.

'Marie…ran.' She filled her lings with air and slowly exhaled. 'Marie ran away.'

She fumbled in her pocket and took out a note. She held it out to Logan.

'She left this for you.'

Jubilee watched as Logan's face twisted in agony at Marie's last three words.

**I'm not Jean.**

-xXx-

_I'm leaving it there. More description into their reaction in next chapter._


	4. Logan

**Sorry I took so long but Christmas time is break time and I'm studying for exams so please be patient. Memories in italics and square brackets (if they work on fan fiction) this might be short but I'm rushing to post this for you guys.**

**I'm not Jean.**

Logan read the three words over and over again. He could hear the faint voices in the background. But they meant nothing now. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. He'd finally been ok; finally his life began to make sense. It seemed like pain was never ending thing for him.

'Logan?'

He looked up. It was just he and Storm still in the room. He shoved the note in his pocket.

'Sorry, didn't hear you. What's the plan?'

'Kitty, Bobby, Piotr and Warren have gone to look in places where she might be. I was wondering if you wouldn't mind helping them?'

'Actually maybe I could stay here, if that's ok.'

'That's good. We're going to need a substitute teacher for some classes.'

'Yeah. Ok.'

He turned around and walked out. He headed towards his room, slamming the door behind him as he entered. He headed over to the chair in the corner. He had placed it there because from that specific place if he looked through the window he could see Jean's grave. Some day's he would stare at the grave hoping it would disappear and she was still alive. Other days he would try to look anywhere but the grave so that he didn't have to remember. When things were really bad he would have _her_ here to forget everything. But there wasn't enough alcohol to make him forget everything, and that's when he would leave. He sighed and got up from the chair and flopped down on his bed.

'Jean…' He breathed.

His eyes grew heavy and for once he let sleep take him knowing he deserved whatever nightmares he had.

_[I'm the only one who can stop her.]_

_[The professor can help. He can fix it.  
I don't want to fix it!]_

_[Kill me.  
What?  
Kill me before I kill someone else.  
Don't say that.  
Please.  
Stop it.  
Kill me.]_

_[You would die for them?  
No. Not for them. For you. For you.  
Save me.  
I love you. ]_

_[Come on I'll take care of you_

_You promise?_

_Yeah, I promise.]_

'Marie.'

He lay staring at the ceiling. He was covered in sweat. He slowed his breathing and rolled onto his side. That was the first time he'd dreamed of Marie in two years.

-xXx-

'Logan?'

He grunted and rolled over onto his side.

'LOGAN!'

An electric jolt flashed through his body. He yelped and leapt out of bed. Slowly he pulled himself up, rubbing his head. Jubilee was standing at his door, hands on her hips.

'What?' he mumbled.

'No sign of Marie yet.'

'Is that all?'

'Don't you care?'

'Of course I care.'

'Then why are you sleeping? As if this is just a normal day?'

'Look kid, there's nothing I can do.'

'There's so much you can do.'

'Like what?'

'GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS AND LOOK FOR HER.'

Electricity crackled dangerously in Jubilee's hair. Logan sighed and held his head in his hands.

'Look, I may not know what your going through, but I know what she's going through. Marie has never really expressed what's happening but I can see it in her eyes. Do you know what I see in her eyes?' whispered Jubilee.

Logan looked up at her and shook his head.

'Lately it's been fear and regret, but sometimes, for a moment, I can see Rogue. That feisty, southern girl who fought for what she believed in. I've seen it more and more ever since you came.'

'I think I've done more harm than good.'

'Is that why you always left? Were you trying to save her?'

'It's complicated.'

'I see we're getting nowhere.'

Jubilee stood and walked to the door pausing with her hand on the frame.

'Just think about what she was like when you left…' murmured Jubilee.

She walked out, closing the door behind her. Logan sighed. He stood up shrugging his shoes and jacket on. As he reached for his keys her remembered the last time he left…

_['Have you seen my keys?'_

'_You leaving again?'_

'_Yeah, Obviously…'_

'_Will you come back?'_

'_Maybe. Dammit!'_

_He threw out the contents of his bag, rummaging through everything. Then he heard a tiny jingle behind him. He whipped around. Marie sat on the floor, one hand stretched out to her jeans, the other behind her back. She was still in her underwear and as she inched forward again the jingle sound went._

'_What's behind your back?'_

'_My back itches.'_

'_Marie?'_

_She gave up trying to reach for her jeans and sat up straight. Slowly she brought out his keys from behind her back and dangled them in front of him._

'_Come and get it.'_

_He launched himself at her, gently knocking her to the ground. They rolled around until finally he pinned her to the floor. He took his keys and shoved it into his pocket. She moved her hand towards his cheek, slowly cupping his face. Then withdrew it quickly and rolled out from under him. He got up and went to repack his bag. When he turned around to say goodbye, she was gone.]_

-xXx-

**Leaving it right there to keep everyone on the edge. Like I said exams I'm really busy so be patient! **


	5. Faith

This first part is Bobby and then it switches over to Rogue because I decided that I really need to have his thoughts before we go back to Rogue. So please hold tight because Marie/Rogue will be in the chapter. Oh and a thousand kisses and diamonds to all my reviewers you guys are such gems! (Also a little Jubilee and Logan.)

'Nothing, no calls, no answer on her cell. I'm sorry, Bobby.'

He shrugged and sat down. Jubilee and Kitty looked at each other and sat on the opposite sofa. How could he not have foreseen this? It doesn't take psychic ability to know when someone's upset. Especially when it's your own girlfriend. But somehow he'd missed that.

'…Logan's taken off to find her.'

He frowned and looked up, listening to the girl's conversation.

'What make's Logan think he can find her,' scoffed Kitty, ' I mean if Bobby can't even…'

He hung his head again. Kitty was right. If her own boyfriend couldn't think where she was. But…

'Logan and Marie have always been close.' He muttered.

Uncomfortably close.

'Yeah, and she's been mysteriously disappearing these past few months…' mumbled Kitty thoughtfully.

'She's been with me.' Snapped Jubilee.

Bobby looked up. Kitty's eyes widened. Bobby felt stunned. Jubilee and Kitty usually got on well.

'If your done speculating about what Marie does every other minute perhaps we can get back to where she is now.'

Kitty shrugged and turned on the TV. In a few moments she was absorbed in one of the afternoon chick-flicks. Jubilee stood up and then signalled Bobby to follow. He stood up, following her to an empty classroom.

'How are you holding up?' she whispered.

He opened his mouth and closed it. He wasn't actually sure.

'It's ok Bobby, we'll find her.'

'I know. But…'

'What?'

'What if she doesn't want to come back? Maybe she's sick of life here. Sick of life… with me. She gave up so much and I'm glad it wasn't for me but I still wonder sometimes if maybe she feels it's my fault.'

'You love her don't you?'

'What? Of course I love her. She's my life.'

'That's all she ever wanted from you.'

Bobby sighed and sat down on one of the desks. Jubilee came and put her arm around him.

'She'll come back. But when she's ready.'

-xXx-

Jubilee sat in Storm's office. She'd been helping Storm set work for Marie's classes. She was now stretched out on Storm's chair. Storm herself was pacing while Bobby leaned against the window. Logan stood beside Jubilee, reading road maps and absent mindly cursing under his breath. The window Bobby leant against became icier by the minute. At least Kitty wasn't following him around like a love-sick puppy. He was too focused on finding Marie to think of anything else. They all jumped as the phone rang.

'I'll get it.' Muttered Jubilee.

She leant over and picked up the phone.

'Hello?'

'Jubilee?'

'Marie…'

She stopped, looking around. All eyes were on her. She held a hand out, as they started moving towards her. She put her hand over the receiver.

'I'll put it on speakerphone if you promise not to all talk at once. Agreed?'

Bobby and Storm nodded and she took Logan's loud grunt as a yes. She slowly moved her hand over to the button and paused.

'Honey, I'm putting you on speaker phone.'

She smiled as she heard Marie groan. She pushed the little button, putting down the receiver back down.

Storm spoke first.

'Marie where are you?'

There was a slight pause.

'Travelling.'

'Are you ok? Have you been eating, sleeping?'

'I'm fine Storm. I went home for awhile.'

'Are you coming back now?' whispered Jubilee.

They all waited in silence. Jubilee clutched her fists praying silently.

'No, I'm not coming back. Just moving somewhere else.'

'Please Marie.' Cried Bobby.

Jubilee felt her heart go out to him as a tear ran down his face.

'I'm sorry Bobby. I just can't come back. I need to think…'

There was a disturbance on the other end.

'Miss D'Ancanto. The doctor will see you now.' Came a cool, female voice.

Jubilee gasped in horror. Logan and Bobby looked worried. Storm started shaking her head. She caught Jubilee's eye. They both knew what this meant.

'Kid, are you ok?' growled Logan.

'I have to go.'

'Marie, don't make any hasty decisions.' Begged Jubilee.

Logan and Bobby looked from Storm to Jubilee. There was a click as Marie put down the phone.

'We have to find her, now.' Whispered Jubilee.

-xXx-

Marie stood staring at the phone. Finally she slammed it down tears streaming form her eyes. Her hand travelled absentmindly to her stomach. She felt it now. A small insignificant, bump that was forming.

'Miss!' called the receptionist.

'I'm coming.'

She sighed and walked over to where a nurse stood holding the door open.

'This way, sweetheart.'

Marie nodded and sat on the bed. She lay back, propping her feet up. She sighed again closing her eyes. She tried not to think about what was happening. Eventually, she heard the snap of a rubber glove and knew it was going to be over soon.

'Everything's fine, if you just look on the screen.'

Marie turned her head warily towards the screen. She felt her heart stop.

'Are you ready?' inquired the doctor.

'I…'

The tears seem to never stop. Her eyes were glued to the screen. Her baby. She'd never thought about children. When she was younger there was a moment but she'd given that up. Could she do this on her own?

'Miss?'

'I need…a few minutes.'

'Sure, honey.'

The doctor pushed the screen away and exited the room. Marie tore her eyes away from the screen. She took a deep breath and pulled on her clothing. She grabbed her bag and rushed out. She could hear them calling behind her but she couldn't deal with it right now. She ran and never stopped. Her head hurt, her stomach seemed to scream out in pain. Finally her head started spin, and her legs gave up as she collapsed.

-xXx-

The first thing she was aware of was the silence. It was… unusual. Then there was the curious warm sensation spreading through her body. She carefully opened one eye and peered around her. There were dim lights in one corner of the room. She opened her eyes and sat up. She seemed to be lying on a makeshift bed. Around were sheets and wooden benches. She looked at the roof and realised where she was. It was a church. She noticed a plate of food next to her. She hadn't eaten in three days and was starving. She picked up the bread and took one big bite.

'Rogue…'

Her heart leapt and she peered around anxiously. In one of the darker corners crouched a man. Marie blinked her eyes, straining them to adjust.

'Kurt?'

'Guten tag, are you all right? I hope I did not startle you.'

'No, you didn't.'

'I saw you vandering the street. Vhen you collapsed, I brought you here.'

'Thank you.'

He nodded. She took another bite and chewed thoughtfully. Finally she swallowed as a sudden realisation hit her.

'Do they know?'

'No, it is your choice, Liechben, whether they should know.'

She nodded. She would not tell them now. She'd been gone three weeks. Her stomach was growing. There would be no hiding now. She realised she was crying. A blue finger wiped her tear away.

'Do not cry. You are not alone.'

'What do you do when all is lost. When the world has turned it's back on you and there is no escape from the consequences. The consequences you created yourself. What do you do when you have lost all hope.'

'I pray.'

Marie shook her head.

'Something so simple cannot make everything thing go away.'

'If you have faith, then it can.'

Rogue wiped her tears and climbed out of the bed. She sat down on the floor. With one hand she clutched her stomach and with the other she took Nightcrawler's hand. He crouched beside a calm, reassuring smile on his face.

'Faith?' she whispered.

'Faith.'

-xXx-

Logan stepped slowly out of the car. Jubilee stood gaping at the church.

'It's beautiful.' She murmured.

Logan's mind drifted to the first time he had seen Jean.

'I've seen better.'

Jubilee sighed, rolling her eyes at him.

'Think she enjoyed staying here for two weeks.'

He shrugged. Slowly they entered the church. There was a slight murmuring of voices. It came to an abrupt stop as he and Jubilee came closer. Then she stood up. She wore a large trench coat that covered her body. But it was her face that scared him. Her skin was a deathly white, twisted in agony and pain. He had done this. He looked away not wanting to see the damage he had caused. Jubilee ran to embrace her friend. There was the sudden BAMF and the blue elf was next to him.

'Vhere is Ms Monroe?'

'Running the school.' Growled Logan.

Why did he need an excuse to be here? Didn't he know Marie well, had they not been through so much together? Or maybe, came a small voice, they knew he had done this to her.

'Logan, let's go.'

He looked up and was caught off guard. She stood right next to him, tears running down her cheek. She turned away from him, saying goodbye to Nightcrawler. Finally she rushed out, Jubilee at her side. Logan nodded at the elf and headed outside. It was torture. He refused to look or talk to her. He refused to hurt her again.

Marie shrugged on a long trench coat that Nightcrawler had brought for her. She listened, as the voices outside grew louder. She was nervous, wondering who would come. Kurt stood beside her, apparently speaking to her. She shifted her focus catching his last words.

'… for the best.'

'I know…'

He heart froze as she looked towards the entrance. Jubilee and Logan were walking slowly towards her. She stood up, feeling the urge to run to him. But, as if rooted to the ground, her legs would not move. She was scared, terrified that if he knew he would leave her. Then he stopped, looking away from her. Her heart shattered into a million pieces. He did not want her anymore. Suddenly she felt arms around her. She hugged Jubilee back. She heard the familiar BAMF as Kurt teleported to Logan's side. She and Jubilee broke apart and walked slowly over to the two men.

'Vhere is Ms Monroe?'

'Running the school.' Growled Logan.

His tone was harsh. She stood right next to him. Tears rolled down her cheeks, uncontrollably, as she edged closer to him.

'Logan, let's go.' She whispered.

She quickly hugged Kurt and then rushed outside, unable to stand his cold stance. Jubilee followed, trying to keep up.

'It's okay, Marie.' whispered Jubilee.

He climbed in without looking at her. She put on her seatbelt and curled into a ball. She refused to tell him. She had promised to take his pain away. He wouldn't hurt anymore.

-xXx-

That's it for that chapter. My head hurts from the past three maths exams so my creative juices weren't flowing. But I tried. The last part is Logan's POV and then Rogue's POV. I'm starting the next chapter now so stay tuned.


	6. The truth

And I'm writing another chapter when I'm supposed to be studying for English. But technically since this story is in English…Thanks loyal reviewers. Your all stars!

Marie walked slowly back into the school. All eyes were on her. Whispers passed as she walked to the Storm's office. Jubilee's hand automatically reached for hers knowing that she needed support. Storm sat alone in her office, writing on some documents. As soon as she saw Marie she stood up slowly.

'Marie, I'm glad your back.' She looked over to Jubilee and Logan. 'I need to see her alone.'

Jubilee nodded, letting go of Marie's hand, and walked out. Logan hesitated then stalked off. Marie turned to watch him go.

'Marie?'

She turned back to Storm. She smiled, hoping this would reassure her. But the smile was an effort, and the last few weeks of being on the road had taken too much out of her. She collapsed onto a chair, tears running down her face. Storm's arms were around her in seconds.

'Shh, hush child. It's ok now, your home.'

'I can't do this. I…'

'It's ok, Marie.'

'I feel so alone.'

Storm sat on the edge of the chair, so that she could look at her face.

'You're not alone. We're all here for you. Why you thought running would make everything better, is beyond me. The X-men are your family. Powers or no powers.'

'I know, but…'

'Having a baby doesn't change that.'

'You haven't told Bobby.'

'No, that's something you should do.'

'I know, I just don't know if I can.'

'He won't abandon you if it's his baby.'

Marie looked away, staying silent.

'It's not his. It's Logan's.'

'But I assumed… Logan's?'

'Yeah, and I don't want him to know.'

'Are you sure?'

She thought of his tortured expression.

'Absolutely sure.'

-xXx-

Marie sat in Bobby's room, looking out of his window. Finally his door opened as he entered. In one simple fluid motion, he dropped his books and scooped her into his arms, holding her tight. She clung to him, breathing deeply, inhaling his provocative scent. Then his hand ran over her stomach. Instantly they both froze. Finally he let go of her and took a step back.

'I can explain!'

'Is this why you left?' he whispered.

'Yes but…'

'Is it mine?'

'No, I can explain…'

'Whose is it?'

Fear crept into her heart. She felt her throat tighten. She clung to him.

'Bobby…' she begged.

'Marie, whose?'

She shook her head; tears flowing rapidly down her cheeks.

'MARIE!'

'Logan's…' she whispered.

He stopped moving. She released him. He fell onto his bed, staring at the floor.

'How long…'

'Since he came back the first time. I tried to stop but…you don't understand…you weren't…and I…'

'Do you love him?'

'He doesn't feel that way.'

'But do you love him?'

'I…I…'

She shrugged.

'Do you love me?'

She looked up at him and nodded.

'But not as much as you used to.'

She nodded again, unable to say it out loud.

'I'm sorry.' She whispered.

'Just go.' He snarled.

She fled from his room covering her face. She should have never been allowed to live.

-xXx-

It was like back then, that one moment when they'd been strangers. When he drove away as she stood in the snow, watching him go. Except this time he didn't stop, but carried on further away from her, leaving her alone. They were on opposite ends of the earth. Everyone knew, but there was no jeering or staring. Just silence as she walked by. Pity, was now a mutual feeling. Storm had already called them both to her office. She had kept her promise, he didn't know. The last to know, because she would not hurt him. She knew Storm was trying to get them to talk. But there was a flicker of anger in his eyes that made her shy away.

_[Keep changing your mind.  
Like clouds in the sky.  
Love me when your high.  
Leave me when you cry.  
I know it all takes time.  
Like a river running dry when the suns to bright.]_

She sighed turning the volume up.

_[So long this is good-bye.  
Maybe we'll meet again in another life.  
Like strangers passing by.  
Maybe we'll see clearly in a different light.]_

'Marie?'

She lifted her head from her pillow. Warren stood by her doorway.

'Oh hey, Warren. What's up?' she said as she turned the volume down a little.

'I just want to talk.'

'Oh-Kay?'

He sighed and sat down next to her.

'I didn't want to tell you this now, but it's your decision. I'm so sorry. My father never knew…Hank only discovered.'

'Whoa slow down Warren! What is it?'

'The cure, it isn't permanent. Which means…'

'My baby could do die…'

_[Keep dodging lights.  
Like a thief in the night.  
The sun will rise and expose all the lies.  
So why deny that you and I lead different lives.  
The rivers from your eye's can't change my mind.]_

'Yes. I'm so sorry. But it's not the end of the line.'

No, it was a solution. It was her curse; it would bring the destruction she needed. If it killed her baby, she'd die too. She deserved to.

'Marie? We can help you at Worthington Labs. You should come now before the cure comes back.'

'No.'

'What?'

'I'm not going anywhere.'

'But your pregnant aren't you?'

'There's nothing left to do.'

'Marie…' he whispered.

'Please go. This is hard enough already.'

'Don't you understand…'

'GO!'

She turned her back towards him and covered her ears. Shut them out. Shut everyone out so that they don't hurt anymore. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up and Storm carefully.

'Think, child.' She whispered.

Marie took a deep breath as Storm held her. Storm was her big sister. More than that. She was like a mother. Marie, thought of the professor. He had had given her chance, now she would give this baby a chance.

'I'll go.'

_[So long this is good-bye.  
Maybe we'll meet again in another life.  
Like strangers passing by.  
Maybe we'll see clearly in a different light..] [So long, goodbye- 10 years]_

-xXx-


	7. I'll leave this time

X-Exams are over! But I'm working on a long project so I'll be posting really slow. Thank you to all the reviewers! And thank you to all those who add this to their story alert, and favourites list. –X

_Tell him or I will._ Jubilee's words echoed in her mind. She should of felt angry and insulted. But instead she felt…empty. She waited for him. He had promised to come see her. It was inevitable. Some things couldn't be hidden. She had already packed and was ready to go. This time she would say goodbye.

'Marie?'

'Hey Logan.'

'Jubilee said…'

'You better sit down.'

'I think I'm more comfortable standing.'

'Fine.'

She turned towards him. He leaned casually against her doorframe. She swung her legs carefully off her bed and slowly let her feet touched the floor. Slowly she pulled herself up. She tottered over to him; her body still a little stiff from spending days in bed. She walked right up to him and grabbed his hand. She put it on her stomach, letting it rest there.

'Feel that?'

'What?'

'It's our child.'

'Our…'

He snatched his hand back, staring at her belly with a horrified expression. Then he closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose.

'I can't…'

'I'm not asking you to.'

'Then, why?'

'They thought you should know. But I know you Logan. You don't want this. Your done with me now.'

'Kid, I still care for ya.'

'Then why'd you leave me?'

'I needed to think.'

'That's no excuse. I was fine until you came along. Fine. I'm not your own personal toy. It was just reckless fun for a while. But now there's another life involved.'

'I never asked. It was never supposed to happen.'

'Well it did.'

'So are you keeping it?'

'My powers are coming back. I don't know when. I'm going to Worthington labs, to try and save the baby.'

'Well good luck.'

He turned around, about to walk away. But she reached out and grabbed his arm. This had to be done now.

'Logan, stop walking away! You have to talk to me. Did you know I wanted to kill the baby, to kill me? I was going to give up my life hoping that there would be no pain for you. I just need…a reason…'

'Jean was my reason.'

'I'm not asking you to be with me, I'm asking you to help me. I'm scared!'

'So am I!'

'Well there's no going back from here. We're in this mess together, whether you like it or not.'

He shrugged his arm away from her. He looked at her with those pleading eyes, filled with hurt and pain. She felt a flicker in her heart but she ignored it. She headed back to her bed and curled in a ball.

-xXx-

'Something wrong?'

She shook her head slowly.

'Did you tell him?'

She nodded again.

'And?'

'It's pretty obvious Jubilee. He freaked out.'

'Yeah but he didn't leave.'

'He doesn't need to, I am.'

She shifted so that her head was more comfortable. She was lying stretched out on the couch, head on Jubilee's lap.

'How's Bobby, Jubs?'

'He's alive, that's what's important so don't worry.'

'I hurt him. Really badly. God, I'm such a monster. I'm starting to think there was a reason I was untouchable.'

'Your not a monster. Your…human.'

'Not for long. Soon the untouchable girl will be back.'

'Will you be changing back to Rogue then? Honestly this name switching thing is a bit unnerving.'

'I don't really care what you call me…doesn't really matter.'

'Guess so…'

Marie closed her eyes, hands folded on her belly. Jubilee drew around her face with her finger.

'Mari…Rogue?'

'Yeah?'

'Is it serious?'

She thought about the conversation Warren had had with her.

'Not really. Dr McCoy has a theory.'

'What?'

'Well, he says my absorption powers work on skin contact so there's no way it can hurt the baby, but…'

'But?'

'Like all drugs, the cure is not for pregnant women. It could be a risk factor to my pregnancy.'

'I don't understand…'

'The cure is still in my system right now. And some of the chemicals are harmful to my baby.'

'That sucks.'

'Tell me about it! I have to have a C-section, if I get that far. Apparently my reversion back to a mutant is putting strain on my body.'

'It's gonna be ok.'

'I know, I just have to relax, but I can't.'

'Let it out.'

'I love him. More than life itself. I want nothing more than for him to be with me. But I can't have him, he was never mine. I feel like such an idiot for trying to make me love him. AAAAAAAAHHHHHH.'

'Feel better?'

'No.'

Jubilee flicked her nose. She rolled her eyes. Then a tune came to her mind.

'If I can't make you love me, you've got no reason to stay.' Marie sang.

'I used to love that song.' Giggled Jubilee. 'It's three, you have to go now.'

She stood up slowly, knowing what she needed.

'Tell them to give me five minutes.'

-xXx-

He was in his room. He was busy cleaning up and putting things away. Away as in neatly folded into cupboards and drawers.

'I stay, you go. You stay, I go. Never ending cycle, right Logan?'

He carried on, ignoring her. She walked over to his bed and sat down.

'Remember those days, when you would do anything to save me? You would defy everything, risk your own life, just to make sure I lived.'

She watched him frown. He stood up, closed his eyes and let out a low sigh. Then he carried on again.

'I'm not here to torture you. I actually thought of something. I tell everyone else but I don't tell you. I love you. Not a schoolgirl crush, or the love for a hero. I'm in love with you. And I'll never stop loving you. I don't blame you, I don't even blame me. Not anymore.'

He opened his mouth but she shook her head. She walked up to him, cupping his cheek with her hand.

'Don't say anything. This isn't goodbye. I'm not dying. I promise.'

She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. Then she walked out of his room, slowly heading down the corridor. Students waved to her as she passed. She smiled and waved back, stopping to hug some on the way.

'Marie?'

She turned her head to the direction from where the voice was coming from. Kitty was standing near the entrance to the school. Marie smiled at the younger students and headed over to Kitty.

'Yeah?'

'Can we talk?'

Marie nodded. Slowly they walked out of the school.

'I want to see the outside…before I go. Let's take a walk around.' Whispered Marie.

'I just wanted to say…I'm sorry. I know I've been…well to put it nicely, a bitch. I just felt so jealous. I really liked Bobby and I thought he really liked me. But I never meant to hurt our friendship. We used to be such good friends.'

'Thanks Kitty. But don't apologize. I'm not saying what you did was right, but right now I get the award for world's worst person.'

'Bobby's going to be ok.'

'You sure?'

'Yeah.'

'Keep an eye on him. Last minute favour for me?'

'Promise. He's basically a best friend now. A little ice-cream and some chick-flicks and he'll be ok.'

'Don't forget to paint his nails.'

They both burst into a fit of giggles. A car horn hooted in the distance.

'Have to go. See you Kitty.'

'Take care, Marie.'

She walked out to the car. She hugged Storm and Jubilee. Tears welled up in her eyes. As she drove she took one last look at the mansion. Logan stood at an upstairs window. She waved as the drove off, her own words echoing in her head.

_I stay, you go. You stay, I go._

_-xXx-_


	8. Diary of Marie

**-X- I got so confused in this chapter so I omitted most of the pregnancy stuff to save myself the embarrassment. So it's just a short version of Marie's journal. I also didn't put dates because my head is still sore from the three one-shots I finished. Thanks to all the reviewers. I might redo this chapter. -X**

Day 1- I promised myself I wouldn't cry but that didn't last for long. I cried as soon as the mansion was out of sight. I cried even more when I arrived. I never stopped crying when I saw our baby. Though Warren was there the whole time I wish there was a different hand holding mine, telling me that I'm going to be ok. My room is white. It has a double bed in the centre, a white wardrobe in the corner and matching desks, chairs and end tables. I like it. Warren mumbled something about mental asylum. It reminds me of purity and peace. And something else…

Day 62- I think I'm about five/six months pregnant. My powers are back, which sucks. The staff have become weird now. They refuse to touch me. I'm starting to feel weak and tired. Warren has already had to fire some people who refused to bring my food. At first I didn't say anything. I would just ignore the hunger and the pain. But then I realised for my baby's sake I didn't have to be so nice. So I spoke up. Of course I feel bad cause now Warren brings me all my meals. Jubilee comes here a lot. It used to be everyday but she was late for classes so Storm said once week. Logan doesn't come. He calls but those conversations are so awkward that I give him a break and hang-up. Nicely, of course. He's ok now. Storm says he visits Jean's grave everyday. Penance, some say. But why, he did nothing wrong. All he did was save the woman he loved. Once other people see it that way, so will he. Nightcrawler came by once. To pray for us. I tried to convince him to stay at the mansion but he's quite stubborn. Maybe one day. It's late now and I should sleep.

Day 70- I can honestly say I'll never doubt my mother again. When she says carrying a child can be hard, I thought she was just moaning. But whoa! This baby is heavy. Of course with the storm comes calm…or something like that. I love feeling my baby kick. It's the most joyous feeling in the world.

Day 71- I rushed out yesterday when my baby started to kick again. Reckless and stupidly I headed straight to the mansion. Went as far as threatening a nurse. She drove me there, scared for her life and maybe mine. Imagine everyone's shock when I arrived. Storm almost fainted. I went straight to Logan. Then as I reached him I started crying...

-xXx-

'Rogue what's wrong?'

'I came here, so you could feel the baby kicking, but...'

She broke down falling to her knees. He surprised her by pulling her up and hugging her tightly, careful to avoid her skin.

'But what?' he whispered.

'But my powers are back. You can't touch my skin.'

'Here.'

He carefully placed his hand over her t-shirt. They stood there for a while. Finally there was a little nudge against her skin. She smiled looking up at him. He was staring at her, half a smile on his face.

'You should get back.' he muttered.

'Yeah. Yeah of course, it was stupid of me to come.'

'No Rogue. You can come to me anytime. I'm still here for you.'

'Thanks.'

-xXx-

... I was so stupid yesterday. But two good things came out of my little excursion. First knowing that Logan does care, and second Bobby. He drove me and the nurse back and spent the rest of the afternoon with me. We just talked until late. He's taken over my classes for now. Warren was not happy that I stormed off. I feel really guilty cause he's been defending me telling everyone that I'm no danger, and then I go threatening my nurse. She's been moved to another station within the cure centre. I can't believe how many people got the cure. Warren has to see them, try to smooth things over. He's worried someone might hurt his father, so he handles the business.

7 months pregnant- This is what my pregnancy guide says: [Baby's movements at this point in pregnancy have gone from wild kicks and flurries to smaller movements as the room becomes crowded in the uterus.] I'm glad, the 'wild movements' really hurt. I woke up last night and realised something. This room colour reminds me of snow. Like the first time we met. Logan actually turned around and came back for me that day. He's been here twice. Never passing the entrance. I watch him from the window pacing outside. It's a battle between Logan and the Wolverine. I think he wants to be a father, but it's not who he is. I want to be a mother but my body doesn't allow me. There's a cure injection with my name on it. Warren is going to inject it the moment the baby is out.

7 months, 15 days- I have nowhere to go after I give birth. I can't go to the mansion; I think it would be unfair for the children to live with a crying baby. I've been trying to find a place but no luck.

7 months 26 days- The x-men are the best family could ask for. I now have a two-bedroom apartment in Boston. Fully furnished. I'm so excited. Logan made it inside today but according to Warren, didn't make it past reception. He did however drop off a red rose. And, to set me crying for another three hours, there were two lockets inside. Both heart shaped, and small and one big. One said mother and the other said baby. I don't really want to know the sex of the baby. Warren knows, and he never lets me forget that he knows. He keeps trying to get me to ask but I won't give up that easily.

8 months 6 days- I'm in agony today. The pain keeps getting worse. It feels like…

She put down her diary bend doubling over in pain. She gripped the edge of her desk, taking deep breaths.

'Oh god, not now. WARREN! HELP!'

-xXx-


	9. You, me and her

'Marie! Marie! Stay with me!'

'I...i..can't...'

'You need to relax. We're almost done.'

'My baby?'

'She's fine.'

'She?'

'Yes, congratulations, it's a girl.'

She smiled and laid her head back. She didn't fall into the darkness. She kept her eyes open. She was patient. She would wait. The doctor's worked carefully around her. She kept still; it was all she could do now. She hurt all over. Her body screamed out in anger and her skin tingle at all the life that buzzed around her. She felt her head grow heavy, and stopped struggling to sit up. She closed her eyes, not wanting to be awake. What if she was better off dead? She could hear crying near her. No, she wouldn't hurt her. She wouldn't open her eyes and look at that face was that she could so easily hurt. But that's what the cure was for, wasn't it? But how long, she reasoned with herself, a month, a year? How long before an accidental touch tells her that it's back. And who would be at the receiving end of that touch.

'Ok, Marie, I going to give you the cure.'

She shook her head, clenching her eyes shut.

'Marie? Marie, can you hear me?'

No, she wouldn't get the cure. She wouldn't go through with this. She felt the needle on her skin.

'Wait.' Came a voice.

She felt warm lips against hers. Her powers took the life, hungrily and eagerly. Then the lips moved away. All the pain started to fade.

_I'm here, darlin'. Open your eyes._

She obeyed. And there he was, standing over her. A little pale but still fine thanks to his healing power. He had saved her, again.

'Now?'

'Yeah, now.'

Warren nodded and put the needle into her arm. There was a slight sting and then her head felt light, and empty. She reached out her bare hand. Warren pulled her up and slipped his arm behind her to support her. There was no pull and smiled gazing at Warren. She turned her attention to Logan. He was gazing down, a genuine smile on his face. There was a bundle of blankets in his arms. She felt her heart stop as a teeny tiny hand reached out into the air.

'That's your little girl.' Whispered Warren.

Logan looked up and his smile grew. He came closer and carefully laid the bundle in her arms. She gazed down at the tiny little girl.

'She's beautiful.'

'Like her mother.' Murmured Logan.

'I call the rest. Excuse me.' Whispered Warren

Logan replaced Warren's arm around her waist. She leaned into him, still a little exhausted.

'How did you…'

'I was downstairs.'

'Oh.'

'Sorry about these last couple of months, I know that I…'

'It's okay, the point is you're here now.'

He pulled her closer and kissed her forehead. She leaned in, breathing in his scent. Not a trace of alcohol.

'She needs a name…'

'I know. I have one.'

'What is it?'

'Jean Marie.'

He frowned. She bit her lip and gazed down at her baby. They were silent for a while, just gazing down at the most beautiful person in the world.

'It's perfect.' He whispered.

-xXx-

When push comes to shove, it doesn't matter if you've done terrible things. What matters is that you learn from your mistakes. And when it comes to other people's mistakes, it's best to forgive and forget. Because holding grudge doesn't only hurt you but everyone around you. And ignoring the mistake or trying to get rid of it, can actually makes it worse. Mistakes are there to be made. The world isn't made to be perfect. You have to learn to take a risk, even if it costs you your pride. Because in the end it was the truth that will bring hope.

She'd realized this as she sat on a box her in her new apartment. Bobby and Kitty were unpacking her things in the bedroom and the bathroom, and she had decided to tackle things in the kitchen. Three boxes later, she was halfway through, tired and hungry. She had been sitting on this box for an hour contemplating where her life was going. And so far, all she realized is the shit she had got herself into. She sighed kicking an empty box in front of her. There was a gurgle come from the crib. She smiled and went over to pick her daughter up. She held the little baby and rocked her back and forth. There was a knock at the door.

'Kitty? Could you get that?'

'Your closer!'

'My hands are full!'

'Alright…'

Kitty phased into the room and marched up to the door. She glared at the door before phasing her hand through the door and pulling whoever was behind it in. She looked up and let go as Logan stood there growling at her. She yelped and ran into the other room. Marie smiled.

'Hey.'

'Hey.'

He walked up to her and kissed her on the lips. He lingered for a second. Then he held his arms out and she handed him Jean.

'Umm… I have a present for her. It's still in the hallway.'

'Ok, I'll get it.'

She walked to the door and opened it. In the hallway there was a big pink teddy bear. She smiled and tucked it under her arm. Then she noticed a big, black bag. Anger filled her and she hauled it into the apartment, kicking the door closed.

'So where you running to this time?' she snarled.

He sighed and placed Jean back into her crib. Then he folded his arms and took a step closer to her.

'What makes you think I'm leaving?'

'This!' she motioned to the bag.

'You're overreacting.'

'Am I? Let's count the times you've left, one…'

He put his hand over her mouth. Her blood began to boil as a smile crept upon his face.

'Marie, I'm moving in. Duh!'

He took his hand off her mouth. She blinked and then sunk back onto the box. Her heart was doing back flips but her common sense was still anxious.

'I…I…you…'

'Yes…'

'And me…here.'

'You, me and little Jeanie.'

'Huh?'

'Listen darlin'…'

He kneeled down in front of her.

'I loved Jean Grey. But I didn't only love her. I loved you too. Sure it was more of a protective instinct back then, but still it was love. We've been through so much together. I guess I've just been ignoring that because I figured…'

'If you didn't get to close, you could try and forget the pain.'

'Exactly.'

'And now…'

'I love you.'

'I love you too.'

He smiled. She leaned forward and kissed him. His arms wrapped around her and picked her up swinging her in the air.

'Ahem.'

She groaned as Logan put her down. Dam having visitors now.

'Excuse me, I'll just go unpack.' Mumbled Logan.

She kissed his cheek and watched as he walked to their room. Their room. Sounded perfect. She raised and eyebrow at Kitty's smirk. Bobby smiled and winked at her.

'Guess we'd better go.' he said.

'Ok then, bye Marie.'

'Thanks you guys. By the way, it's Rogue.'

-xXx-

_**A/N: Thamks for the advice reviewers.**_


	10. Parenthood

A/N: Final Chapter is just something I came up with at 3 am. It's just random conversations mostly between Marie and Logan. Enjoy! And thank you to:

Wanda W, askita,velvetemr73, dulcesweet, irisheyesrsmiling, Glykera, Logan's Wolverette, phuong1317, Brit-Babe191, shelaweena, hotbritt5000, Scipio'sgirl, Sparrowhawk1952, LauraSanchez, Dancing Hybrid, Generated Anomoly, Julie, Lyra21

- I love you guys!

'Logan, Jean's crying.'

'Your turn.'

'Excuse me?'

'Darlin' I really need my sleep.'

'How can it be my turn, I just woke up an hour ago to feed her.'

'So what does she need this time?'

'She needs diaper changing.'

'Marie, the Wolverine don't change diapers.'

'Oh really?'

'Yeah.'

'Then the Wolverine can take his butt and sleep on the couch!'

'Come on Marie it's three in the morning.'

'Logan go change that dam diaper or else!'

'Or else what?'

'Or else you won't be in this bed for another year.'

'Do you like winning?'

'Why yes, thank you sugar, could you get me a glass of milk while your up?'

---

'Eyes up, bub!'

'Logan...i was...i didn't...i...please don't kill me.'

'What? Bobby you pervert.'

'Honest to God rogue i was not...'

'Not what? Not obviously ogling my breasts!'

'No, i was...'

SNKT

'Bobby run.'

'See ya Rogue.'

Slam

'Logan put the claws away. Ow... carefully Jeanie. You adorable little angel. Honestly Logan, you can't just over react like that, i mean seriously now who's going to visit me after bobby tells everyone about...what are you staring at?'

'Nothing darlin'.'

'Logan, I'm going to pretend that you weren't staring at my breasts but rather looking at our beautiful daughter and...LOGAN!'

'Huh?'

'Eyes up sugar!'

---

'Marie I can't feel my arms.'

'And ah've been up since two this morning and can't feel anything.'

'She's asleep can't I just...'

'No!'

'I'll put her down gently.'

'Won't help.'

'I'm doing it...'

'I warned you... she really has a strong set of lungs.'

'Marie! She won't stop.'

'I warned you not to put her down!'

'Argh!'

'Calm down hold her closer and rock her gently, if your irritated, she's irritated. Relax sugar.'

…

'Thanks. She's smiling. It reminds of your smile...Marie? Marie? Oh. Sweet dreams darlin''

---

'Oh Gawd, my breasts are huge!'

'Come again?'

'I can't even see over these mountains look at them.'

'I am darlin'.'

'Huh?'

'They are huge.'

'Logan!'

'Just giving my opinion, my honest opinion.'

'Ugh!'

'What are you doing?'

'Getting a sweater to cover up.'

'Hey, you don't have to, I promise I'll stop staring.'

'Yeah, yeah.'

'Marie...?'

'Your turn.'

'Come here Jeanie...She's dry...'

'So...'

'She's hungry.'

'Give her here...hey baby, shh, it's okay here...Logan...'

'Yes darlin'.'

'WIPE THAT SMIRK OFF YOUR FACE!'

---

'Hey Kitty, congratulations!'

'Thanks Rogue can you believe it.'

'I knew it would happen eventually i mean you did catch the bouquet at my wedding.'

'Yeah but I'd never figured Bobby would propose, I'm so happy.'

'And you should be Mrs Drake.'

'I am, I really am. What do you think of the ceremony?'

'It's big, your fairytale wedding.'

'Your wedding was also wonderful, it may have been small and in city hall but it was still beautiful.'

'Yeah and storm holding the reception in the mansion really made it special.'

'Yeah, I'm so happy for us.'

'Have you seen Logan?'

'Not recently, I'm surprised he came.'

'He's just here to look after Jean while i dance and party.'

'Mm...Kurt?'

'Ya?'

'Have you seen Logan?'

'He's outside Fraulein.'

'Thank you, come on Rogue.'

'It's freezing outside.'

'Nope it's now a toasty 30 degrees thanks to Storm interfering...there he is'

'Okay, go dance Kitty.'

'Okay then.'

…

' Logan, sugar you okay?'

'Hey Marie.'

'Logan, are you crying?'

'Come here Marie, sit here.'

'What is it?'

'Look.'

'Jeanie...oh my god...oh...she...my baby's walking!'

'Yeah.'

'Oh my big girl, my beautiful angel, walking at eleven months.'

'She truly is a miracle.'

'I love her so much. and I love you so much Logan.'

'I love you too. Thank you.'

'For what?'

'Her.'

'Right back at ya'

---

'Seven plus 28 equals...'

'What?'

'Oh nothing.'

'Da...da...Dada.'

'No fair!'

'What?'

'She's supposed to say mama first.'

'Says who?'

'Says me!'

'Dada.'

'She's remarkable...Marie.'

…

'Shit!'

'What's wrong?'

'Logan I'm pregnant.'

'That's great news.'

'I know... what's Jeanie...oh, your turn Logan.'

'No, this time it's your turn.'

'I'm carrying you child and need rest, you wouldn't want anything to happen to your unborn baby.'

'But...'

'Come on your an expert at diaper changing.'

'Fine.'

'Yes sir ah sure do love winning.'

-xXx-


End file.
